He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
