I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
