Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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