Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
