Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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