you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
