we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
