did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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