Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize