just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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