Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
