I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
