do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
