He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
