I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
