Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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