I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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