hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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