It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
