3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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