I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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