i'm signing you up for texting rehab
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
