Since when is my name a synonym for head?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
