This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
