i just wanna soil my oats bro
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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