make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
