ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
