Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
