not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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