Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
