I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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