I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
