I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
