I look better un-naked...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
