yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
