I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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