Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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