Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
