You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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