Nicole vs. Life
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The air was thick with penises
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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