Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
