Where did you get a picture of my penis
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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