So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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