let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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