There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
