That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
handjob tips. give me some.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
