i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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