It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
