I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
