Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize