Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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