Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize