That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
