WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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