and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
