8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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