thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
