It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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