Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
