If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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