Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
